Is your life a wreck?

   Have you ever been in an auto wreck, I don’t mean the kind where you actually have to crash but the actual event where you are spinning and your mind is reaching and your heart is pounding and you have all these useless trivial thoughts like “damn I really wanted to go to the Holiday Concert this year”. I mean useless — you are about to die and things like that just occur to you?

   It was that way with me. Only I was just getting out of bed.

   I was fine only seconds before I look over and see the time, at first I just sort of wrinkled my forehead, it had to be a mistake, then I realized that I had slept the day away and it was indeed 4:59. heck it was nearly getting dark.

   I guess what hits you the most when you do such terrible irresponsible shit like this is it that there is no forgiveness for a man who sleeps all day like I did.

I got tons of stuff done in the first 25 minutes. It was like I was saying to everyone I will make up for this error. I changed the toilet paper I cleaned the bathroom sink I washed my face and I always forget to wash my face.

   It took 25 minutes when I was looking at my Blood Sugars monitoring chart. apparently my last entry was for 9am this morning. So actually I must have went to bed after that entry, which means I slept from 9am to 5pm. 8 hours.

   And who gives a flying fuck what my hours are? I slept well last “night” I was happy actually before the shock of the alarm clock got me to panic. I am retired let me have an upside down schedule.

   I just don’t know. I want to get out and socialize more but then I have no disciplines. Not when it comes to sleeping. I go to bed when I get tired and apparently wake up 8 hours later. Why get down on yourself for things that really are not all that critical?

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